The hiatus was so long that I figured the blog would have been deleted by now. Or perhaps it would have fallen out of cyberspace into a black hole somewhere. 21 months I've been off of here.
And so much has happened. The guy I was dating back then is no longer in my life. It took me a very long time to get over it. Out of the clear blue sky at the beginning of March last year, he disappeared for a couple of days. I knew something was wrong, as we generally spoke at least 4 times per day. When he resurfaced it was to tell me that his ex wife had written him a long, letter saying how much she'd changed and that she wanted to get back together with him and see if they could 'make things work'. It was shocking to say the least. He, his parents, his best friend - everyone - had basically told me that she was manipulative, devious, never followed thru on anything and had no drive, passion or real smarts. He had told me he'd NEVER consider getting back together with her, and yet - he did. I was devastated. He cried. I was a mess. Until the past couple of months, I still missed him. And in some ways, I guess I still do, though now it only happens once every blue moon rather than all of the time.
Since we broke up, I 've dated some. Dated a lot. "Seen" a few guys for a few months at a time. But nothing has worked out long term. We shall see. In some ways, it's a lot of fun playing the field. In other ways it is lonely. But for the most part I'm having a good time and doing things I want to do. For example I'm going out of town over the 4th to see my best friend. That is going to be a blast. More to come.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Friday, October 3, 2008
some confustion
Well, at least it isn't just me. Last night we were supposed to bike. ML (formerly known as TNG) arrived late and I was relaxing in the convertible, reading and enjoying the beautiful afternoon air and sun. He arrived, we kissed and began to prepare for our usual 20 mile trek down the trail. Well, Mr. Forgetful discovered he'd left his biking shoes at home. So, I suggested we walk, since we couldn't bike and I didn't have running shoes.
Note to self: do not walk 4+ miles in flip flops. Not even in Nike flip flops. They are not meant for walking distances. I am sporting lovely blisters on the bottom of the ball of each foot. Oh yes, they had to match. Ouch. Actually I got up and walked the dog this morning - went about 2 1/2 miles and they didn't hurt in socks and running shoes. However, flip flops are not comfortable right about now.
There was confusion on my part too. His birthday dinner next Friday will be at his house. While we were chatting and snuggling in Starbucks after our walk, we got things all figured out. Since Thursday is a (jewish) holiday and since I neglected to ask for this week's holiday off, I worked. But, I just did a vacation audit and realized that before the end of the year, I have 9 vacation days, 2 personal holiday2 and 2 floating holidays to take. So...I am going to take Thursday and Friday off next week. That way, I can arrive at ML's house Friday morning and we can cook his birthday dinner together! How much fun will that be? His parents, brother, sis-in-law and their baby, his girls and hopefully his bf and his wife will all be there. It will be great - we will be the hosts and his family will be there to enjoy and celebrate both his and his mom's birthday! We have an entire extra day of the weekend to be together.
We had a really funny conversation yesterday. Since I am taking next Thursday off, I suggested that we go to breakfast together. We were going to meet at his house and go together from there. My brain, of course, is thinking - back to the house afterwards for a little adult fun. Well, ML was totally somewhere else. He said yesterday: "On Thursday, let's meet at the mall, go to the Flying Biscuit for breakfast, leave one car there and head over to the big REI (across town) for their sale." My response: raised eyebrows and, "Well, the honeymoon is over already, huh?" It was rather hilarious, as he was thinking shopping and I was thinking sex. Boy, was that a reversal of stereotypical roles! We did have a really good laugh over it, and I told him that since I was coming over early on Friday anyway, it would be fine to do that on Thursday. Funny, funny, funny.
Note to self: do not walk 4+ miles in flip flops. Not even in Nike flip flops. They are not meant for walking distances. I am sporting lovely blisters on the bottom of the ball of each foot. Oh yes, they had to match. Ouch. Actually I got up and walked the dog this morning - went about 2 1/2 miles and they didn't hurt in socks and running shoes. However, flip flops are not comfortable right about now.
There was confusion on my part too. His birthday dinner next Friday will be at his house. While we were chatting and snuggling in Starbucks after our walk, we got things all figured out. Since Thursday is a (jewish) holiday and since I neglected to ask for this week's holiday off, I worked. But, I just did a vacation audit and realized that before the end of the year, I have 9 vacation days, 2 personal holiday2 and 2 floating holidays to take. So...I am going to take Thursday and Friday off next week. That way, I can arrive at ML's house Friday morning and we can cook his birthday dinner together! How much fun will that be? His parents, brother, sis-in-law and their baby, his girls and hopefully his bf and his wife will all be there. It will be great - we will be the hosts and his family will be there to enjoy and celebrate both his and his mom's birthday! We have an entire extra day of the weekend to be together.
We had a really funny conversation yesterday. Since I am taking next Thursday off, I suggested that we go to breakfast together. We were going to meet at his house and go together from there. My brain, of course, is thinking - back to the house afterwards for a little adult fun. Well, ML was totally somewhere else. He said yesterday: "On Thursday, let's meet at the mall, go to the Flying Biscuit for breakfast, leave one car there and head over to the big REI (across town) for their sale." My response: raised eyebrows and, "Well, the honeymoon is over already, huh?" It was rather hilarious, as he was thinking shopping and I was thinking sex. Boy, was that a reversal of stereotypical roles! We did have a really good laugh over it, and I told him that since I was coming over early on Friday anyway, it would be fine to do that on Thursday. Funny, funny, funny.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
happier than I thought possible
And at times, feeling like, "Why me?" Just what exactly, did I do, to deserve this amazing man and have him love me for exactly who I am? And when, is it all going to come crashing down around my ears?
Things are so incredible and I am not naive enough to think that much of the glow, excitement and fun is that initial "honeymoon" stage of nearly every new relationship. The great thing is, we both realize it and have talked about it. We have made a commitment to always share and talk and to never be complacent about things - our relationship included. He is so open, loving, attentive and caring - it is hard to believe he's the real thing. But I think we've spent enough time together for me to be able to tell if it were an act. Its not. He really is the real thing. We have yet to disagree about anything. That will be telling - our first disagreement and how we handle it.
It is now Tuesday and he is in Chicago on business. We are biking Thursday evening so that is when I will next see him. This coming weekend, we both have our kids so I don't know if I will see him at all, other than Sunday morning for another bike ride. But next weekend is his birthday and I am really excited about that. Friday night is the family dinner and I think it will be at his mom's house. Saturday morning is his nephew's christening and I will be attending that with him. Saturday night is a complete and total surprise for him. We are going to leave his house around 4:30 and head to PDK - a local, small, private plane airport. We will have an appetizer and champagne on the deck of a Greek restaurant that overlooks the runway. At exactly 6:00, a bi-wing, open cockpit plane will pull up to the deck and we will walk down the stairs and get on board for a sunset ride over downtown and Stone Mountain. The flight should last about 40 minutes. Hopefully it will be surprising, totally romantic and we will have wonderful weather. After the flight, I haven't yet decided what to do. His favorite restaurant is Rathburns and I am going to look and see if it would be feasible for us to dine there after the flight. Then we will retire to his house and I've told him that the rest of the weekend is completely up to him. I will do whatever he wants, cook whatever, hike, bike - it is HIS weekend!
Things are so incredible and I am not naive enough to think that much of the glow, excitement and fun is that initial "honeymoon" stage of nearly every new relationship. The great thing is, we both realize it and have talked about it. We have made a commitment to always share and talk and to never be complacent about things - our relationship included. He is so open, loving, attentive and caring - it is hard to believe he's the real thing. But I think we've spent enough time together for me to be able to tell if it were an act. Its not. He really is the real thing. We have yet to disagree about anything. That will be telling - our first disagreement and how we handle it.
It is now Tuesday and he is in Chicago on business. We are biking Thursday evening so that is when I will next see him. This coming weekend, we both have our kids so I don't know if I will see him at all, other than Sunday morning for another bike ride. But next weekend is his birthday and I am really excited about that. Friday night is the family dinner and I think it will be at his mom's house. Saturday morning is his nephew's christening and I will be attending that with him. Saturday night is a complete and total surprise for him. We are going to leave his house around 4:30 and head to PDK - a local, small, private plane airport. We will have an appetizer and champagne on the deck of a Greek restaurant that overlooks the runway. At exactly 6:00, a bi-wing, open cockpit plane will pull up to the deck and we will walk down the stairs and get on board for a sunset ride over downtown and Stone Mountain. The flight should last about 40 minutes. Hopefully it will be surprising, totally romantic and we will have wonderful weather. After the flight, I haven't yet decided what to do. His favorite restaurant is Rathburns and I am going to look and see if it would be feasible for us to dine there after the flight. Then we will retire to his house and I've told him that the rest of the weekend is completely up to him. I will do whatever he wants, cook whatever, hike, bike - it is HIS weekend!
Friday, September 26, 2008
absent...
I've been absent from blogging for most of this month. Its been kind of crazy with the kids both being injured from sports, school back in full swing and having a great time with TNG. We have done 2 half century bike rides this month and they have been really fun.
In other developments, we are really moving our relationship to the next level. I've met his parents, one of his brothers, three of his four kids, his best friend and his best friend's wife, who just so happens to be his ex wife's sister. Kind of odd that it worked out that way, but it is what it is. The bf and the ex's sister are really nice. I am deliriously happy in this relationship - he is amazing in so many ways.
Unfortunately I don't have time to blog everything right now as I have to get some work done, have a manicure and pedicure and get myself over to TNG's house - for the weekend! Can't wait.
In other developments, we are really moving our relationship to the next level. I've met his parents, one of his brothers, three of his four kids, his best friend and his best friend's wife, who just so happens to be his ex wife's sister. Kind of odd that it worked out that way, but it is what it is. The bf and the ex's sister are really nice. I am deliriously happy in this relationship - he is amazing in so many ways.
Unfortunately I don't have time to blog everything right now as I have to get some work done, have a manicure and pedicure and get myself over to TNG's house - for the weekend! Can't wait.
Monday, September 8, 2008
accomplishments
That could describe this weekend.
Friday night was very quiet and relaxing. I watched Knocked Up, had a glass of wine and went to bed early. Saturday morning found me in the gym working out with one of my really good girlfriends. Saturday afternoon (and evening) I painted my bedroom. Yes, my entire 25'x15' room. It is huge and I did the entire thing. I've wanted to paint it for years and I finally did it, and am very pleased with the results.
Sunday morning TNG and I did 25 miles on our bikes and then relaxed at Starbucks. I stopped and brought brunch home for the kiddos and settled in to watch football for the remainder of the day and night. It is so great that football season has started! Gotta love that! My team won, and did so nicely.
Now its Monday and I am back to work. This week cannot go by quickly enough...as this coming weekend TNG are going to be together for the entire weekend! I can hardly wait. No meeting somewhere in between us, no deadlines to get home, no nothing that we don't want to or have to do. It is going to be all about us - being together and doing whatever we feel like doing. Sleeping in, working out, cooking, just hanging around. I can't wait! It sounds completely decadant and indulgent and we are both looking forward to it completely.
Bring on Friday!
Friday night was very quiet and relaxing. I watched Knocked Up, had a glass of wine and went to bed early. Saturday morning found me in the gym working out with one of my really good girlfriends. Saturday afternoon (and evening) I painted my bedroom. Yes, my entire 25'x15' room. It is huge and I did the entire thing. I've wanted to paint it for years and I finally did it, and am very pleased with the results.
Sunday morning TNG and I did 25 miles on our bikes and then relaxed at Starbucks. I stopped and brought brunch home for the kiddos and settled in to watch football for the remainder of the day and night. It is so great that football season has started! Gotta love that! My team won, and did so nicely.
Now its Monday and I am back to work. This week cannot go by quickly enough...as this coming weekend TNG are going to be together for the entire weekend! I can hardly wait. No meeting somewhere in between us, no deadlines to get home, no nothing that we don't want to or have to do. It is going to be all about us - being together and doing whatever we feel like doing. Sleeping in, working out, cooking, just hanging around. I can't wait! It sounds completely decadant and indulgent and we are both looking forward to it completely.
Bring on Friday!
Friday, September 5, 2008
tgif....
Well, TGIF and not-so-much.
TNG and I are going strong, really strong. It is simply amazing to me that he can and does articulate his thoughts and feelings so freely. He is open, honest, warm, wonderful, caring, considerate, and so many other adjectives that convey love and affection that should I continue (as I could) I would sound like a lovesick teenager. Which is how I feel sometimes anyway! We have so much fun together, yet we can talk seriously. We have such an amazing, strong physical attraction for each other, yet we can simply hold hands and be happy. We are both so excited for next weekend, as we are going to spend the entire weekend together. It will be lots of fun!
He likes my kids a lot. And I think they like him too. They haven't said a lot about him, but last weekend we took them out to dinner and we all had fun. In spite of the fact that the first two restaurants we tried were both closed! The kids laughed with him about movies they all like (and that I don't) and in general it was a really good time. Whew!
After the 47 mile bike ride from hell last Monday (hills not to be believed) I met his sister in law, brother in law and their daughter. They were all really, really nice - especially his bro-in-law who also happens to be his best friend. We had fun talking and relaxing and I think they were disappointed that I wasn't staying for dinner.
However, when we arrived back at TNG's house, his ex was there. She was blocking my car in the driveway so he had to get her to move it. When he called her and asked her to do so, she came out and hovered about so as to get a look at me (or so I felt...and he later verified). It felt very uncomfortable and a bit strange - almost as if I were under a microscope. However, she was nice and didn't bite me, so I guess it was ok in the end. Later that night, he confirmed that she wanted to see me, and she was surprised that I was "professional" looking - as in not a sleazy girl. Now, why...as wholesome and clean cut as TNG is - would she think he was going to be dating a floozy, I don't know. Very odd thinking. At any rate, she is now worried that he is going to move near me. How strange is that? We both have kids in HS, and we are both solid believers in getting the kids out of HS before any sort of move, or change in relationship status would/could take place. After all, the HS years go by so quickly....and what kind of parent would pull their kid out of his/her HS so that their own love life would be more convenient?
Talk about selfish - and self centered. We can still have a relationship, we can still be together, heck, now that my kids dad will be back in town soon...we will have every other weekend together - most married people don't get that kind of one on one time. And our relationship is still so new...its not a hardship to drive a distance, or meet somewhere in the middle. One day, all too soon, our kids won't be at home any more and then we can be together all the time, if that is what we want. And all signs are pointing to that happening.
I remain in awe. And full of gratitude.
TNG and I are going strong, really strong. It is simply amazing to me that he can and does articulate his thoughts and feelings so freely. He is open, honest, warm, wonderful, caring, considerate, and so many other adjectives that convey love and affection that should I continue (as I could) I would sound like a lovesick teenager. Which is how I feel sometimes anyway! We have so much fun together, yet we can talk seriously. We have such an amazing, strong physical attraction for each other, yet we can simply hold hands and be happy. We are both so excited for next weekend, as we are going to spend the entire weekend together. It will be lots of fun!
He likes my kids a lot. And I think they like him too. They haven't said a lot about him, but last weekend we took them out to dinner and we all had fun. In spite of the fact that the first two restaurants we tried were both closed! The kids laughed with him about movies they all like (and that I don't) and in general it was a really good time. Whew!
After the 47 mile bike ride from hell last Monday (hills not to be believed) I met his sister in law, brother in law and their daughter. They were all really, really nice - especially his bro-in-law who also happens to be his best friend. We had fun talking and relaxing and I think they were disappointed that I wasn't staying for dinner.
However, when we arrived back at TNG's house, his ex was there. She was blocking my car in the driveway so he had to get her to move it. When he called her and asked her to do so, she came out and hovered about so as to get a look at me (or so I felt...and he later verified). It felt very uncomfortable and a bit strange - almost as if I were under a microscope. However, she was nice and didn't bite me, so I guess it was ok in the end. Later that night, he confirmed that she wanted to see me, and she was surprised that I was "professional" looking - as in not a sleazy girl. Now, why...as wholesome and clean cut as TNG is - would she think he was going to be dating a floozy, I don't know. Very odd thinking. At any rate, she is now worried that he is going to move near me. How strange is that? We both have kids in HS, and we are both solid believers in getting the kids out of HS before any sort of move, or change in relationship status would/could take place. After all, the HS years go by so quickly....and what kind of parent would pull their kid out of his/her HS so that their own love life would be more convenient?
Talk about selfish - and self centered. We can still have a relationship, we can still be together, heck, now that my kids dad will be back in town soon...we will have every other weekend together - most married people don't get that kind of one on one time. And our relationship is still so new...its not a hardship to drive a distance, or meet somewhere in the middle. One day, all too soon, our kids won't be at home any more and then we can be together all the time, if that is what we want. And all signs are pointing to that happening.
I remain in awe. And full of gratitude.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
triathlon...
The tri I've been training for finally took place. The weather was horrible - 25 mph wind gusts, rain - generally miserable. The wind was the type that blew open the door of your car as you tried to get out - it did this as we all exited to get Starbucks before the race.
Now, I've had a bet, made back in March with my buddy who I've done the last two tri's with. He, being 7 years younger, "gave me" 7 minutes in the race and thought he could still win. Ha! Nothing like a gauntlet laid down to get me up and motivated. I have trained hard on the bike and relatively hard for the run. He swims regularly. I swam two or three times. Long story short, I won by more than 6 minutes - without the 7 he spotted me. Granted, the chain fell off of his bike, BUT - I was knocked over by another cyclist. Knocked to the ground, and boy did it hurt. I was none too happy; he was very apologetic, but I wonder how much faster I could have been had the weather been good and I not been knocked over on the bike. I actually passed him during the run portion of the race - and couldn't believe it. An even bigger surprise: at the end of the race when our total times were posted I was in the top half of the 1,100 participants AND it was my fastest finish yet - even faster than when I did my first one in '05 and was in such good shape. I was completely surprised that I bettered my '05 time - and completely thrilled.
TNG was there, cheering me on and that was so awesome. (I'd asked Steeler Fan for the past several years to come down there with me, but he never would.) TNG wore a bright colored shirt, so that I had no trouble picking him out of the crowd. He took all sorts of photos and was so supportive and encouraging, it was great. Afterwards was the best. We returned to the hotel and I had to lay on the heating pad as my back was hurting. He said he had to go out and get Starbucks, but he came back with a dozen roses and a fabulous bottle of champagne! It was definitely my favorite triathlon experience ever!
Now, I've had a bet, made back in March with my buddy who I've done the last two tri's with. He, being 7 years younger, "gave me" 7 minutes in the race and thought he could still win. Ha! Nothing like a gauntlet laid down to get me up and motivated. I have trained hard on the bike and relatively hard for the run. He swims regularly. I swam two or three times. Long story short, I won by more than 6 minutes - without the 7 he spotted me. Granted, the chain fell off of his bike, BUT - I was knocked over by another cyclist. Knocked to the ground, and boy did it hurt. I was none too happy; he was very apologetic, but I wonder how much faster I could have been had the weather been good and I not been knocked over on the bike. I actually passed him during the run portion of the race - and couldn't believe it. An even bigger surprise: at the end of the race when our total times were posted I was in the top half of the 1,100 participants AND it was my fastest finish yet - even faster than when I did my first one in '05 and was in such good shape. I was completely surprised that I bettered my '05 time - and completely thrilled.
TNG was there, cheering me on and that was so awesome. (I'd asked Steeler Fan for the past several years to come down there with me, but he never would.) TNG wore a bright colored shirt, so that I had no trouble picking him out of the crowd. He took all sorts of photos and was so supportive and encouraging, it was great. Afterwards was the best. We returned to the hotel and I had to lay on the heating pad as my back was hurting. He said he had to go out and get Starbucks, but he came back with a dozen roses and a fabulous bottle of champagne! It was definitely my favorite triathlon experience ever!
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